Nevertheless, being a stay at home mum has its obvious downsides. The pressures of a full-time, 24-hour-a-day job like a homemaker’s can leave us forgetting; firstly, who we really are, and secondly, that we are not only a parent, but a spouse and an individual as well.
One obvious disadvantage in choosing to work in, rather than out of the home is that women especially, allow the glamour in their looks to fade away. This should not be allowed, diva sisters, so I’ve cooked up the following recipe! They are some small but important ways to keep ourselves attractive and preserve the efficient, confident sex appeal we possessed while working out of the home.
Refuse to allow staying at home to rob you of your femininity and sex appeal. (This article is written by a woman, therefore from a woman’s perspective).
Help for the stay-at-home mum and her relationship
Keep smelling good
It is inevitable that we’ll smell of vomit, bleach, or baby wipes at intervals during the day - maybe of all of them at the same time. However, take a fraction of a second to apply a bit of perfume on your body. Everyone has a smell, and while your counterparts who’re still at the office accessorise with ‘covet’ and ‘poison,’ there is no reason why you shouldn’t also wear a bit of fragrance to do your job. Apply a mild perfume behind your ears or neck where the baby will not be overwhelmed by it, but at a place where your older children and husband could still smell it as they cuddle up to you. It does not go unnoticed. My sister once borrowed my perfume when she stayed over for the week-end. Just before she left, my daughter, after giving her a cuddle announced, ‘You smell nice. Just like Mummy!’ I like the Sung Alfred daytime perfume because it's mild and stays fresh for a long time.
Stay at home mums need to look after their hair
The very last thing a mother on call has time for, is her own hair. Prepare for this when you’re planning a pregnancy by growing your hair to a length which is long enough to braid, or put into a pony tail with little effort. If your hair is short, it’s likely that you’ll end up wearing a hat/cap when you rush out to do yet another set of shopping. You don’t want this. Having longish hair, means that if you’re in a hurry, you could always have handy a mixture of water with a blob of hair conditioner kept in a spray top bottle. Spray this on your hair when in a hurry and sweep it up in a pony tail. If you have curly hair keeping it in braids is always neater than wearing it wild and frizzy (because you’ve had no time to spend the hour it requires to tame it). Keeping your hair neat is vital to your image and perfect for staving off the ‘haggard mother’ look. Your work (at being a stay at home mum) keeps you tied to the house. While this means that you’re unlikely to be coiffured, it doesn’t mean that your hair has to look out of control. It helps if you've got a weekly hair schedule and a place to keep all your hair care stuff like that hair care organiser above. Not only will this remind you to sort your hair out, but it will make it easier for you do do so.
Like a gorgeous picture frame adds beauty and elegance to a photograph, your eyebrows (your face’s frame) add character and interest to your face. Eyebrows are so important to your face because they can be the difference between you looking tired, or looking fresh and ‘on the ball.’ The condition of your eyebrows also affects how old you look. They don’t need much work, and certainly are not expensive to keep in shape. Try plucking them from the underside for a quick clean and shape-up. Definitive, step-by-step guide here. Dab a bit of Vaseline or clear mascara to keep them in line and you’ll notice the lift this simple act gives to your eyes and entire face.
Stay at home mums need to keep themselves fit
You don’t have to join an expensive gym to keep fit. You probably won’t have the time anyway. Buy four different aerobics dvds (one for each work-out day in the week) and exercise with them when your babies are asleep. Keep fit, energised, happy and healthy by switching between these tapes while exercising in your own home. There is no expensive gym outfits to buy this way. If you have school-going kids, walk them to school, pushing the baby in the pram. Twenty minutes of walking daily will put you on the right track to regaining your pre-pregnancy shape.
Show interest in your husband
You rightfully expect your husband to show some personal interest in you after he’s been at work all day. When you were working outside the home you returned this acknowledgement because you knew that this is an important ingredient for happiness and contentment in marriage. Do not let this ‘marriage maintenance’ fall apart just because you’ve now changed jobs to work from your own home with your own family. When you were at the office, you put in the effort to make a hot drink for colleagues at break time. Your husband is now your colleague as you work together to bring up your family. On one hand he takes care of the accounts, on the other, you, of personnel. If he keeps up his side of the agreement, there is every reason for you to maintain your half of it. That’s true partnership! For some more tips on keeping that relationship on track, here are some splendid articles!
Keep up-to-date with what’s happening around you
Do not, under any circumstance, lose contact with what’s going on in the world. Your husband is bombarded with that constantly, so after work, be the person with whom he can talk these things through. Leave the radio on and listen to the news, turn off the television, as you’ll be tempted to sit and watch everything before and after the news has finished. Join a library, take the baby in the buggy and walk over there. Half an hour’s walking to the library is a good way to give the infant some fresh air and for you to take some scenic exercise. Borrow books and read them. Reading and intelligence are fantastically attractive, so don’t lose part of your sex appeal by becoming a stay-at-home mum who never picks up a book. Remember that when you go back to work outside the home you wouldn’t get the chance to improve and build up your general knowledge. This is the perfect time to do so. Do not miss out on this priceless opportunity.
Don’t lose the ‘classy’ you
Don’t become a drab. While dating, you kept your air of mystery. Back then, you didn’t let your now husband see you on the toilet, you burped loudly only when he was out of ear shot. You yawned with your hand over your mouth. I’m not saying that you cannot be free to do these things in your own home, because you are. You change in your own bedroom and not in the living room, not because you haven’t got a right to, but because you don’t want your kids to see your nakedness. Therefore, even though we’re free to do what we want, we’ve still limited ourselves in specific ways out of consideration for the other people with whom we share the home. Maintaining a small amount of ‘personal space’ - even when you share your most intimate moments with someone else - is still possible.
As a way of preserving your sex-appeal and mystery even to your own husband, little things like bathroom activities could still be done in private. My husband sees my perfect eyebrows and admires them. He knows that I pluck them but has never seen this ‘process of perfection’ because I feel that this would make them less appealing to him. This is just one example of keeping a few ‘mysteries.’ After all, husbands and wives already share so many intimate things with each other, it won’t hurt to keep a few innocent ‘secrets’ which aren’t really secrets.
Stay at home mums must make the effort when they go out
No matter how old a woman gets, she’s always going to be proud to step out with a fit, well-dressed, attractive-looking man on her arm. The trouble is, men feel the same way about us too. There is no need to dress expensively. Just make sure that the clothes you wear around the house to do your various jobs, (including feeding the kids), are not the same ones you rush out to the store wearing. It takes a second to pull on a pair of trendy jeans and a stylish top. Track suit bottoms are comfortable, but they’re for the gym and for lounging around. Not because you now have children it’s suddenly okay to go on a family outing wearing a stained track suit and trainers. If you’re careful to shop for clothes without complicated buttons, knots etc, you can maintain your femininity and sex appeal when you go out, by quickly changing into something fresh and more appropriate. I know I do.
Many stay at home mums forget to keep themselves attractive and business-like when they make the decision to stay home to raise young children. This does not have to be the case for you. Remember that you not only have to fulfil the role of a mother, but also of a wife and an equal partner to your husband. You don’t want to be that woman interested only in talking about what colour the baby sick was (and as mothers we do a lot of that), but one who stays as sexy and as attractive as she was before the home became her sole workplace.
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Stay glamorous! Help your relationship blossom.