Emotions That Heal And Emotions That Don’t

Having a healthy relationship with your inner-self is based largely on the ‘feelings’ you allow yourself to dwell on. Sure, as humans we invariably experience several different kinds of emotions every day. The important question is, which ones do you place most emphasis on and how do they impact on your well-being.

Below are some emotions that help heal and motivate, and some that chip away at your mental and physical well-being. Which ones have you chosen to dwell on today?

Emotions that heal and emotions that don't


The emotion of anger

You wouldn’t be human if you didn’t get angry. However, anger is one of the most destructive emotions there is. It interferes with the way you function, thus the way other people relate to you. Prolonged anger is definitely a sign that something turbulent has been going on inside. It interferes with the way you view life because you’re seeing everything through lenses constricted by this forceful, negative emotion. An angry person sees the fault of the cash register at the check-out as a direct threat designed to ruin their day. They laboriously drag around the anger of having had to wait five extra minutes to pay for their shopping, and allow this tiny bump to ruin their entire day.

This to us is a senseless thing to do, but this is the quality of anger. It destroys the inner person and changes them into someone unrecognisable.

Have you become this person?
Is it possible to have the type of anger that leads to healthy arguments in your relationship?

The emotion of tearfulness

The tears you cry when you’re sad release toxic substances from your body. Stress can build up into a solid brick wall, making you feel very weak, frustrated and hopelessly banging on at life after a while. Allowing yourself to cry is a good way of scrubbing off the build-up of several negative emotions like anger, anxiety, guilt etc. People who maintain a balanced relationship with their inner self tend to see crying as healthy and sane. Others with an unhealthy, negative view of their mental state, or those with mental illnesses are inclined to see tears as a sign of weakness when it’s really the opposite.

When was the last time you shed a tear?
How do you manage tearfulness and stress in your relationship?

The emotion of love

Falling in love is said to boost brain cells and increase your IQ. Sitting with the person you love, rubbing their back, holding their hand, or cuddling with them release a host of negative emotions and help you let go of stressful situations and thoughts. These activities also lower your blood pressure. Spending just five minutes each night after work, doing any or all of the above can help keep the mind sane and the balance of positivity in the right place. For single people, the hug of a friend, sibling or parent can produce the same effects.

Are you making use of these readily available de-stressers? When was the last time you hugged someone?
How do you fall back in love when life has hit you with separation and hardship?

The emotion of hope

Scientists have linked hope and optimism (continued and heightened activity in the left hemisphere of the brain) to youthfulness. Positive thinking and bright hope for good things in the future keep you young and help you to heal better when you become ill. Experiments have shown that people with the lowest levels of cancer-causing proteins are those who have a positive outlook in life. Hope equals health and lasting youth.

How young is your heart?
What are you doing in your life to keep yourself young?

The emotion of anxiety

Anxiety tears your body apart. Humans are made to build up adrenaline when we’re anxious. Blood rushes away from the stomach and to the heart, lungs and muscles so we can take the action of ‘flight’ away from danger. Allowing anxiety or worry in your life constantly is a sure way of inviting stomach and other digestive related illnesses. In addition, anxiety will make your heart beat faster and your blood pressure raise to dangerous levels for no reason at all (there is no flight, no running away from danger). Take time to breathe out fully, often.

Indentify what causes your anxiety and fix it.
Have you worked out ways to relieve stress in your life?

The emotion of resentment

There is probably no other emotion as toxic as resentment. The danger of resentment is that it doesn’t lessen after time like anger and anxiety can. Resentment only builds up unless something drastic is done about it. Situations or persons at whom the resentment is directed get progressively worse and every little thing is another dirty pile of rubbish dumped on the growing landfill of mental compression. Toxins build up in the blood, causing dangerous blood pressure levels. This can lead to heart disease and even permanent damage to the heart.

Let go, forgive, move on.


Laughter is a great healer and a fantastic workout. It keeps the body healthy and fit and staves away heart troubles because arteries widen when you laugh. Pain can also feel less intense when you laugh. If you’re feeling low or have been ill for a while, instead of watching reality shows, maybe the comedy channel is better for you.

Surround yourself with happy people and watch a comedy show when you feel stressed.

Live life holding onto the emotions that heal. They’re worth it!


Icy BC November 29, 2009 at 3:08 PM  

This is a wonderful post, Anne! I think after many years of struggling with these emotions, I've arrived at contentment stage.

Writers Solutions November 29, 2009 at 4:04 PM  

Great post Anne... I didnt' know crying was actually good for you :)


Anne Lyken-Garner November 29, 2009 at 9:41 PM  

Thanks Icy and Alexa. Do visit again.

Harleena Singh April 16, 2012 at 1:36 PM  

Wonderful round- up on emotions Anne!

I can best relate to the emotion of love I think, as I feel I have abundance of it :)

But yes, being humans we do have a little of everything hidden within us that becomes visible at various occasions. Like the emotion of anger, which i think is present in each one of us, though it's degree varies. All we need is to learn to control our anger and practice ways to release the anger or lessen its intensity - isn't it?

Similarly, the emotion of resentment is truly the worst of its kind also that needs to be tackled so that it doesn't harm anyone, and most importantly harm us.

Tearfulness is another emotion that relates to me, as I have noticed with age, I tend to cry more easily. Or perhaps this emotion is strong within me, though I feel it's a good way to release your feelings within.

Laughter indeed is the best of all and the perfect tonic for getting better instantly. :)

Thanks for sharing. :)

Anne Lyken-Garner April 16, 2012 at 1:44 PM  

I thought I was the only one, Harleena. I seem to be more emotional and more easily affected, the older I get. I don't know if this is a good thing, but it scares me because it's something that I never had to struggle with before. It's encouraging to find that I'm not on my own in that respect. Thanks for your insightful comment.

Anne Lyken-Garner is a published author, editor and freelance writer. Her specialities include relationships and confidence building. You can find her inspirational memoir here.
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