How To Be A Better You

It’s great to be yourself! How much greater and more enjoyable would it be if you had to spend 24/7 with a better you. Here are a few suggestions to help make yours a relationship everyone wants to keep.


Practice in self-investment enhances growth and development in the same way that physical exercise builds muscles after time. The following exercises enrich our personality and make us better for doing them, so go ahead and indulge!

Let the person with the child in the back seat have the parking space you spotted first. It means the same to them as it would to you, if you were out with your child. Sacrifice of self alleviates the soul of greed and petty worries about material gains. Done often (like the people who volunteer at soup kitchens) self-sacrifice threatens to cure it almost entirely.

Even when you’re in a hurry, if you’re in your car, stop and allow pedestrians walking in the rain to cross the street. There is no guarantee that the cars behind you will stop unless you do. Forcing ourselves to wait, even when in a hurry, develops patience.

On paydays buy a take-out meal for someone you think may be struggling (a person who’s just lost his/her job, a widow/widower, or a house bound neighbour). Not only will this help to give them a bright spark to an otherwise dull life, it’ll make you feel as though your wages have been fully and completely earned. We all have days where we don’t do as much as we can at our work places. Finding time to balance this out, helps us to feel less slothful.

Pay for the stamps the pensioner beside you at the post office is rummaging in his/her wallet for change to buy. Giving a little helps us to feel better about the many ways in which we overspend on ourselves. Putting a smile on someone else’s face goes a long way to putting joy in our hearts.

Offer to go to the weighing-in with someone who’s trying but struggling to lose weight, or offer to join the group with them. All they need is a bit of encouragement. Being a good friend, even when we don’t feel like it cultivates within us, care and concern for other people. Even if your heart is not into it at first, like with everything else, practise soon becomes perfection.

Send flowers now and then to a friend who is single and finds it hard to date. On Valentine’s day, send him/her chocolates and a card. This one is just to be nice. Soon you’ll be thinking of lots more fantastic ways to be a friend.

Share something close to your heart with a friend who’s struggling. Sometimes we need to hear about other people’s problems to put our own in perspective. We tend to think we’re the only ones suffering out of the circle of our friends. When we hear about other people’s problems, ours don’t seem so depressing after all. It’s only human nature.

If a friend is having a wedding or sadly, a funeral, offer to transport their visitors or provide a couple of meals if you can. This goes a long way with someone who has a lot on their plate. Be dependable - someone people know they can always trust to be thoughtful. Let your name, when thought of, conjure up dependability, practically and honesty.

Have a “bashing” day for a friend who’s just suffered a break-up. If you’re a girl, invite her girlfriends over (if you’re a bloke, you may have to promise the blokes a slap-up meal to tempt them over). Have a good rave of all the men you all have ever broken up with, or those who’ve left you. Organise a safe place to burn old pictures and little tokens of his she may have kept. Let her weep and have a good old cry all around. You’d be surprised how much this helps everyone involved. It’s great to enrich your funny, mischievous side and what better way to give vent to it than with someone you care about.

If you pray for or do something good for a person you do not like very much, you’ll find the dislike you feel ebbing away with every good deed/prayer. If this is someone you have to see every day (colleague e.g) feeling better about this person would do you more good than it would them. Just to prove this wrong, try it!

What other activities do you do to build up your personality and to improve who you are? Please share them with us in the comment section.


10 comments:

Queen of the Rant June 17, 2010 at 9:40 PM  

Yeah I find ranting to be the best medicine for a relationship, that way you do not take all the petty things out on your spouse, and there is no judgments from your friends, telling you to dump him or I told you so

Anne Lyken-Garner June 17, 2010 at 10:04 PM  

There is nothing worse than friends saying, 'I told you so' after a relationship has ended. I try to keep quiet when friends are talking about their other halves. In the end when they make up, you're always held at fault.

jo oliver June 18, 2010 at 3:52 AM  

Very well done post, Anne. It is amazing how much better you feel about yourself when you add a little altruism to your life.

Icy BC June 18, 2010 at 2:18 PM  

You always have good ideas and advice Anne. I especially like the part where you said "share something close to your heart". Yes, it helps tremendously when you know you're not alone..

Anne Lyken-Garner June 18, 2010 at 8:05 PM  

Thanks, Icy and Jo. Yes, Icy, human nature is such that we like company in our sorrows and joys. Sharing is sometimes difficult to do, but I think it lessens sorrow and heightens joy.

Walter June 21, 2010 at 1:36 AM  

One powerful activity to improve myself is to expand my understanding through reading. To tell you the truth, my world has changed a lot just be reading powerful books. :-)

Self Sagacity June 21, 2010 at 5:33 AM  
This comment has been removed by the author.
Self Sagacity June 21, 2010 at 5:34 AM  

You know, I have a hard time letting go in order to be the good Samaritan to an idiot. But I have experienced the goodness on occasion when I am able to look beyond their stupidity. Love your last paragraph.

Anne Lyken-Garner June 21, 2010 at 11:27 AM  

Walter, books definitely help us to make our lives better. However, many times we're in danger of replacing good feelings (the books ignite in us) for good works. We can feel great about ourselves, but it does no one any good if we keep all those positive vibes to ourselves. I've met people who talk the good talk, but the 'walk' is never something they'd consider doing. I think a balance is a difficult thing to maintain.

Amanda, we all have that particular difficulty. We just have to work that bit harder to wade past the negative feelings.

DoanLegacy June 21, 2010 at 12:42 PM  

Beautiful work! You have a very good heart, and great mind.

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Anne Lyken-Garner is a published author, editor and freelance writer. Her specialities include relationships and confidence building. You can find her inspirational memoir here.
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