How To Get Your Dream Mate To Notice You

Sometimes the older we grow, the harder it gets to meet the right person. I think this may be because our ‘ideal partner’ list has had time to get longer and more unrealistic. So much time is spent these days on online dating that people have almost forgotten how to be honest about themselves when they come face to face on a date with an actual person. Here are some tips to get you back in the game.


dream-mate

How to get your dream mate to notice you
Dos
You have your eyes on someone and would like to get them to notice you. Instead of concentrating your energies into getting them, use that time and energy to make them want you instead. Remember that if you think they're so fabulous, chances are other people do too. Your job is not to join the pack and vie for their attention, but to concentrate on making yourself the person that stands out from all the rest of suitors.


Do keep an air of mystery if you want your dream mate to notice you 
Don't let it all fly out the first time you meet someone you think you may be interested in. This bores them. Let them want to meet you again to find out more. Let them have questions about who you are and what you do, to wonder about you when they're at work, in the park, at the gym. Let them feel a smile coming on when they think about finding out more and more about you.


Invest in yourself if you want him to notice you
When all is said and done, even if you don't succeed in finding a good relationship your investment stays with you and you lose nothing. Learn a new language, take up an interesting game, join a gym, volunteer at a centre, go back to school etc. All of these things make you more attractive and valuable to the opposite sex when it comes to real relationships.


Do keep an open mind if you want that special someone to notice you
Your (dream) good-looking, intelligent, popular, ideal person may only be sensible and average looking in reality. However, if your mind is locked on false notions of grandeur and lavish excitement, you're in danger of letting your soul-mate and parent of your future children slip out of your hands. And while you're scouring the earth in futility ten years from now, he/she would be making someone else happy instead of you.


Don'ts
Don't look for your prospective partner at a club, pub, bar. The kind of person you'll meet here is the kind of person looking for part-time relationships. No one looking for a potential spouse/partner intends to find them there. These places may be okay for fostering relationships, but is it the kind of relationship you're now looking for?


Don't think that everyone you meet is a potential long-time partner
No one wants to feel as if they're being pegged down at their first encounter with someone. Everyone wants to experience the freshness of 'will it, won't it?' with their dates, and likes to put in the effort it takes to build up a serious, romantic relationship.


Don't ask them to reveal too much about themselves to start with
There are things people would rather keep private. When they trust you they'll volunteer the information without you having to ask. They'll feel better about this and may feel threatened if you seem to pry too much into their personal life.


Don't hang on to that someone... 
If you find out that the person is with someone else, or is just thinking of breaking off a relationship. This is complicated. You don't want to be a participant in this sort of triangle. If the person really likes you backing off will give them a jolt into sorting their situation out first, then coming back to you for a fresh start. Remember you're looking for a serious, long-term relationship with rings, pattering of tiny feet, mortgage - the works. This is certainly not the way to begin your search. If the person doesn't come back count yourself lucky because they were not what you were looking for to start with.


Don't have a blueprint of a perfect person in your head when you start out
Keep in mind that the person in your head is someone you've made up and is not real. Of course, do not compromise your standards on important things like personality traits, but remember that no one can look perfect on the outside. If they do, they certainly won't be looking at mere mortals like us.
Keeping these vital thoughts in your head sets you on the right track to start becoming the person you want to present to your dream mate. Keep solidly in mind that your Miss/Mr Right is also expecting you to be 'perfect' for them.

If you liked 'How to Get Your Dream Mate to Notice You' please share it on your favourite networking sites or send it to someone you think may benefit from it. You may also like our love help and advice articles on this blog.

2 comments:

Self Sagacity August 12, 2010 at 4:38 AM  

This is so good, one I want to send this to my 18 year old son, secondly, if I can figure out how to stumble that's my mission is to stumble this post...I smiled and nodded the whole way.

DoanLegacy August 12, 2010 at 2:25 PM  

You always have wonderful tips on relationship!

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Anne Lyken-Garner is a published author, editor and freelance writer. Her specialities include relationships and confidence building. You can find her inspirational memoir here.
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