How To Say No
Many of us have problems saying no, especially when it comes to interacting with our loved ones. This article is not just about saying no to other people, but saying no to ourselves as well.
We've got more than we can use - all of us. We've got handbags for different occasions, shoes of varying shades. 'Good' plates and ones our family use. Our consumption is so great that manufacturers now make jeans with so much material, you're supposed to wear them to cover the 'exquisite' shoes you must have. When I was growing up I had one pair of shoes which I stuffed with newspaper because they were several sizes too big (they were my mother's old cast-offs). Nowadays I have more than I really need even though I'm not a shoe collector or hoarder. Where does it all end? How much more can we say yes to? When is enough, enough?
What we have now is adequate, both for us and others in our lives who believe more is better, tastier, richer... Here's how we say, 'No, that's enough now!'
Say no to clutter
Stop collecting stuff for your home. Think about the last time you moved house when you lived out of boxes. How much stuff did you survive on then? Do you see that you don't need that new set of cutlery? You'll only need another drawer to store them. Save your money for your retirement.
Say no to the Internet
Switch it off. Create a 'diet' for your Internet use. Are you getting hooked on Facebook and Twitter? Do you feel you have to check and reply to each of your friend's new updates? You're addicted. Give yourselves a few hours a day, free of Internet and emails. If it helps, you may have to turn your connection off from the source at first. Addicted people need drastic measures for the detoxing process to kick in.
Say no to the money race
Money really cannot buy happiness. The more you have, the more you will want. There will always be something else to covet, something bigger, something faster or smarter. Loved ones, peace of mind, good health and hope and faith in the beauty of life, all contribute greatly towards self-contentment. Of course, having what we need for life (which most of us already do) is vital for survival. But when you think you need more money, think of what you would do with it if you lost your mind, your health or your family/best friends.
Say no to your our kids
Denying your kids game boys and x-boxes does not add up to child-abuse. Many modern parents think that good parenting is giving their children everything they want. This of course, is bordering on neglect. It is irresponsible to teach your kids they can have the sum total of what they want. How will they cope when they leave home and realise the world is the opposite of what you've taught them? They will continue to believe that college, their employers, their spouses, the world, owe them a living. Teach your kids patience and strength by allowing them to wait - and save up - for some things. Be kind to them and say no sometimes. Even God does.
Say no to more work
We're responsible for the costume for the school's big performance. We've just taken up a new French class. Our friends have moved house and they've asked for our help with the painting. Work called and asked if we could do some overtime for the next two weeks. The parents have gone on holiday to Japan, so they need someone to take care of the two dogs, the cat and water the plant. Stop! Say no. You can offer to paint the masks - but not make the dresses (for the play). Help paint just one room - or just the first coat. Do one day of overtime. Keep just the cat, and let the folks take the dogs to kennels for the week. Remember that every little helps. You can make a difference in people's lives without having to completely take over their responsibilities.
There's a whole new world waiting for you to discover when you say no. Life is for living up, not living under a bundle of stress. Promise yourself to take time out to reflect on what you've done well - not how much you've done.
Can you share some more ways of saying no? Please also share this article on your favourite networking site. Thank you.
We've got more than we can use - all of us. We've got handbags for different occasions, shoes of varying shades. 'Good' plates and ones our family use. Our consumption is so great that manufacturers now make jeans with so much material, you're supposed to wear them to cover the 'exquisite' shoes you must have. When I was growing up I had one pair of shoes which I stuffed with newspaper because they were several sizes too big (they were my mother's old cast-offs). Nowadays I have more than I really need even though I'm not a shoe collector or hoarder. Where does it all end? How much more can we say yes to? When is enough, enough?
How to say no
What we have now is adequate, both for us and others in our lives who believe more is better, tastier, richer... Here's how we say, 'No, that's enough now!'
Say no to clutter
Stop collecting stuff for your home. Think about the last time you moved house when you lived out of boxes. How much stuff did you survive on then? Do you see that you don't need that new set of cutlery? You'll only need another drawer to store them. Save your money for your retirement.
Say no to the Internet
Switch it off. Create a 'diet' for your Internet use. Are you getting hooked on Facebook and Twitter? Do you feel you have to check and reply to each of your friend's new updates? You're addicted. Give yourselves a few hours a day, free of Internet and emails. If it helps, you may have to turn your connection off from the source at first. Addicted people need drastic measures for the detoxing process to kick in.
Say no to the money race
Money really cannot buy happiness. The more you have, the more you will want. There will always be something else to covet, something bigger, something faster or smarter. Loved ones, peace of mind, good health and hope and faith in the beauty of life, all contribute greatly towards self-contentment. Of course, having what we need for life (which most of us already do) is vital for survival. But when you think you need more money, think of what you would do with it if you lost your mind, your health or your family/best friends.
Say no to your our kids
Denying your kids game boys and x-boxes does not add up to child-abuse. Many modern parents think that good parenting is giving their children everything they want. This of course, is bordering on neglect. It is irresponsible to teach your kids they can have the sum total of what they want. How will they cope when they leave home and realise the world is the opposite of what you've taught them? They will continue to believe that college, their employers, their spouses, the world, owe them a living. Teach your kids patience and strength by allowing them to wait - and save up - for some things. Be kind to them and say no sometimes. Even God does.
Say no to more work
We're responsible for the costume for the school's big performance. We've just taken up a new French class. Our friends have moved house and they've asked for our help with the painting. Work called and asked if we could do some overtime for the next two weeks. The parents have gone on holiday to Japan, so they need someone to take care of the two dogs, the cat and water the plant. Stop! Say no. You can offer to paint the masks - but not make the dresses (for the play). Help paint just one room - or just the first coat. Do one day of overtime. Keep just the cat, and let the folks take the dogs to kennels for the week. Remember that every little helps. You can make a difference in people's lives without having to completely take over their responsibilities.
There's a whole new world waiting for you to discover when you say no. Life is for living up, not living under a bundle of stress. Promise yourself to take time out to reflect on what you've done well - not how much you've done.
Can you share some more ways of saying no? Please also share this article on your favourite networking site. Thank you.
6 comments:
All good NOs! I try to practise decluttering. I'd also add , Say NO to food wastage. Just have enough on your plate and not pile it up especially when it's buffet.
A fantastic one, Keats. We should definitely say no to that. Food can always keep fresh in the fridge - ready to use as left overs the next day. Some people also waste fresh food by buying way more than they can use in a week.
Wonderful and fantastic advice to say no to. We just have to find that limit in our life, and just stop..
I agree these no(s) are actually very good to apply more often. Good topic!
It is hard to say how one would react to having lots of money, generally more greedy -yes. Yet, there are some people who still have been able to live with money gracefully, and I hope to be one of them.
BTW- that is not saying that I already have money...lol. Just wishing if I ever turned into muti billion air, that I would still be able to save my dignity and integrity.
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