Learning to Love Again

As trite as it may sound, failed love is one of the most difficult and painful experiences an individual will have to overcome in their lifetime. After investing so much of your time and being into a relationship that failed, the idea of putting that same effort and trust into another person can seem impossible. Many individuals fail to realize that heartbreak is very much a form of loss. People suffering from lost love will often go through all of the stages of loss, including denial, grief, self-loathing, depression, and eventually acceptance.

How to love again

allow yourself to grieve for lost love
Heartache is a feeling that is almost indescribable to anyone who has never felt it. Heartbreak can feel impossible to mend, but to deprive oneself of something as beautiful and fulfilling as falling in love is far more of a loss. Follow these three steps after lost love to learn to open your heart again. 

Grieve for lost love

The first step to overcoming lost love and heartache is grieving. In our society today, sadness is frowned upon. We're not supposed to be sad and allow ourselves a little self pity. However, before anyone can truly move on from the heartache of a lost relationship they must allow some time to grieve. Be sad and allow yourself to hurt for a bit. Lost love leaves behind painful wounds. You must allow yourself the time needed to mend those wounds before you can truly move forward into a better, more promising future. Sit in your bed and wallow for a day or two. Let the pain run its course. Only after you have carefully experienced your pain and hurt can you extinguish them. Lost love is very much like the death of a loved one. You must grieve your losses and then learn to live on without them.

Love Yourself Again

Love yourself. Breakups and heartbreak can severely damage one's own self-confidence and sense of self worth.  Before you can learn to love again, you must learn to love yourself again. You must recognize that (in most cases) the relationship did not end because of something that is irreversibly wrong with you. There may be aspects of yourself that you need to work on, but those changes can only come if you recognize them in yourself and want to alter them. The more you love and appreciate yourself, the more likely you will be to attract the right kind of person. Self appreciation plays heavily into the way others appreciate you. Heartbreak can cause a person to feel damaged and weak. Often, when people feel this way after a breakup, they search for a new relationship to fill the hole they feel in their heart. Before you can learn to love someone else again, you must love yourself.

Know what you need from love

Another essential aspect of learning to love again is recognizing what it is you want out of a new relationship. Breakups encourage you to explore your true wants and desires in love and relationships. You can explore exactly what was missing from your previous relationship and determine what it is you need from a future relationship. Knowing what you need from another person is key to being happy and creating a relationship that will last. Set a standard for what you are seeking in a new relationship. Do not just fall into the same pattern you always follow. This will only result in further heartache. Recognize what you need and work to find that. Before you can find a new love that is successful and healthy, you must be able to communicate to yourself and your potential lover what it is you want and need out of the relationship.

Author Bio:
This is a guest post by Nadia Jones who blogs at online college about education, college, student, teacher, money saving, movie related topics. You can reach her at nadia.jones5 @ gmail.com.

You can visit our love relationship page for more helpful articles on finding love.


Icy BC September 12, 2011 at 5:12 PM  

Great advise! Knowing what you want and need in a new relationship is the best tip of all.

Anne Lyken-Garner is a published author, editor and freelance writer. Her specialities include relationships and confidence building. You can find her inspirational memoir here.
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