Dating After Divorce

Dating after divorce can be a difficult adjustment for most people. After a long relationship and years spent living with the same person, suddenly being on your own can be scary. And then you have to get on the dating scene again - a steep hill to climb when you've been out of the game for a long time.  The first and most important thing to remember when dating after a divorce is; don’t rush yourself. A divorce is an incredibly exhausting process, so take things slowly and learn to enjoy being on your own for a while.


Dating after divorce
dating_after_divorce

For successful dating After divorce: stay active
Being by yourself is going to be difficult so it's important to keep busy and engaged with life. Taking up a new hobby will keep your mind focused and enable you to learn new skills and qualities. It will also help you meet new people, which for some reason only becomes harder as we get older. Relationships are usually centred on work or family life, but embracing a new hobby or class will throw you into an environment with people of similar interests.
Starting a new hobby or renewing an old interest can be the positive start you need to move on with your life and rebuild your confidence. Perhaps there is something you have always wanted to try but your ex-husband was never keen. You may even find that you enjoy it more than you ever did. By engaging in old interests, you won’t have any regrets about why you never pursued them.


Maintain old relationships while dating after a divorce
Remember it’s not all about the new. It’s just as important to maintain the relationships you already have. This can be difficult after a divorce if you share friends but don’t let it affect your whole life. Make time for your old friends and join a reunion site to reconnect with those you’ve lost contact with over the years. See here for advice on how to fall back in love once you're ready to step from the old and into the new. 

Find time for you before dating after divorce
Use the free time you have for yourself and don’t be afraid to be selfish once in a while. In a marriage it’s easy to let things go both physically and emotionally when it comes to the things you enjoy doing. Join a gym or exercise class to stay fit and learn to cook healthy food. Taking pride in your appearance will give you confidence and prove to your friends and family how well you’re doing. Confidence-building help is just a click away. Be bold enough to grab it!

Conclusion to dating after divorce
If you haven't had a date in a while, don’t panic. Focus on your interests, and spend time in the places you like. It is in these places where you're most likely to meet a person who shares the same interests. Whether that's a favourite restaurant, class or theatre show, who knows, but there is someone out there just for you. Just remember most of all to relax and enjoy yourself. The last thing you need is to dive head first into another serious relationship, so learn to love your own company.
Going through a divorce can be such a stressful and painful time, but it can also spell the beginning of a new you. Accept the past and embrace your future!


This was a guest post by Sarah Leeds (with some input from me). 
If you're a woman in your thirties and can benefit from some relationship help, this linked one is a fantastic article you should read. 


4 comments:

Quickie Divorce December 16, 2011 at 1:24 PM  

Dating after divorce can be extremely difficult, but modern technology has made it significantly easier to meet new people.

Online dating sites are a great place for a divorcee to start when they feel like they’re ready to start dating again. Its detached nature assists those whose confidence may be low and, because it’s online, a person can easily find the time to use them.

DivorceDating December 16, 2011 at 2:28 PM  

Regardless of how long you were married, or the circumstances thereof, one important piece of information you need as a newly-single is that “dating” these days takes two forms. Some people are in the dating arena solely as a social pursuit; some date as a means of finding and selecting a potential new partner. With this information in hand, you need to consider where you yourself are at, and also keep it in mind regarding the new people with whom you interact.

Icy BC December 17, 2011 at 12:42 PM  

Fantastic post, with wonderful tips for those that ready to jump in the dating arena.

Anne Lyken-Garner December 18, 2011 at 2:02 PM  

Thanks, Icy.

QD and DD, welcome to the site.

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Anne Lyken-Garner is a published author, editor and freelance writer. Her specialities include relationships and confidence building. You can find her inspirational memoir here.
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