Stress Management In Relationships will show you real ways to cope with, and handle the stress in your relationship. In movies, the perfect relationships are those that are completely free of stress. They're relationships that represent a perfect match – two people that could not be more right for each other, to the point where they never fight, they never wonder about their relationship, and they never experience any amount of stress because of or related to their partner.
Not only is this a fairy tale – it actually goes against what we know about relationships. In fact, stress is an important part of a healthy relationship, because stress (and how a couple deals with that stress) is a type of connection. Those that learn to easily handle the stress and pressures of the relationship are those that are developing a great connection with their partner – one of mutual understanding and support. Those in relationships who struggle with stress regularly and do not find support with their partner are the relationships that struggle. (See this article, Marriage and Healthy Arguments).
Stress Management in Relationships
Relationship stress may be brought on by any number of different factors. It may be caused by outside influences, such as a pressure filled job or fights with friends and family, or it may be caused by internal factors, such as infighting and arguments between you and your partner. Learning to handle this stress is an important part of making your relationship stronger, so here are several tips for dealing with tension in the relationship.
Stress management relationship tip 1: Talk
It's the most important, the most obvious, and yet the one that can't be said enough. Both partners need to talk about their issues when they come up. That doesn't mean that you need to bring up every little thing that bothers you, but the silent treatment, withholding sex, spending time apart – these are all bad solutions to the problem that will ultimately fail. Only talking can help, because only talking can relieve the tension and address the issue head on. There's a great article here called, How to Fall Back In Love.
Stress management relationship tip 2: Personal Reflection
Another thing you need to do is take a deep breath and ask yourself something very important that few people ask themselves: "Does it really matter?" Many people find that in relationships there are numerous little things that start to bother them. This is a false problem – there is no such thing as a little thing. However, there is such thing as giving weight to something that doesn't matter. For instance, if you are upset because your partner leaves the toilet seat up or frustrated because your partner talks during a TV show you watch, ask yourself how much that really matters. Often you'll find that something that annoyed you was annoying you because you were already annoyed, not because your partner was actually performing a problem behaviour.
Stress management relationship tip 3: Touch
Couples that are feeling stress often avoid touching each other, keeping physical distance between them because of the emotional distance they're experiencing. Once again, this will only make it worse. When you both know you're feeling stress, continue to hold hands, be close, cuddle – even make love once in a while. These things are all relaxing and natural stress relievers, and they help you avoid exacerbating your stress and anxietysymptoms.
Stress management relationship tip 4: Find a Happy Place
When you are feeling stress and tension, a good idea is to find a real, physical location that makes you feel relaxed and energized. Often that is near a beach, or a public park, or something calm like an aquarium or library. Regardless of where you choose, the idea is that you will be able to find a spot that helps you relax when you're feeling tension. From there you can integrate relaxation techniques or look for artistic outlets if that helps you relax.
Stress management relationship tip 5: Work On Yourself
Blame is a big part of relationships, often because one person feels that they are causing the other person grief. While you can and need to talk about your problems and how you hope the other person can change, the truth is that you cannot change someone else. You can only change yourself.
This doesn’t mean you should assume that your emotions are wrong. If you feel hurt, upset, or angry, your partner may indeed be causing you this stress, and you shouldn't simply accept that you deserve to feel that stress or pressure. But there are likely other ways that you can change to make your relationship better. Work on the ways you can improve as well you can. It's possible that the more you work on yourself, the more your partner will work on themselves in response.
Relationships were never meant to be perfect, and even the best relationships experience stress and anxiety. What's important is that you address the problems head on, and look for ways to help yourself relax in the process. If you can learn how to handle the pressures, you'll find that your relationship becomes even stronger.
About the Author: Ryan Rivera offers advice on withstanding stress and anxiety that can be found on his website, calmclinic.com.
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Anne Lyken-Garner is a published author, editor and freelance writer. Her specialities include relationships and confidence building. You can find her inspirational memoir here.