Relationship Help Forum: Cheating Boyfriend

Welcome to another edition of our relationship help forum, where we share real relationship stories from real women (identifiable details are changed). You can see the more real stories here

Dear Anne,
I’m nearly 19 and have been with this boy for 3 years. Lots of people have been telling me that he’s been cheating on me and a lot of other negative things but I never seem to listen.

Lately he’s been acting really oddly. We speak a lot daily but suddenly he’s always hard to reach. He always says he’s with his friends but when I speak to them they always tell me he was never with them.
I’ve started to accuse him lately and am becoming really obsessive. My mom thinks that I should leave him, but I don’t know what to do. He always denies everything.

Once I saw a text from a girl in his phone and I called her. She told me he’d been trying to get with her for months, but he denied everything and even called her crazy.
I don’t know if I could break up with him, he used to be so good to me. He made me think I was his whole world. I just don’t know what to do.

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Relationship help forum: cheating boyfriend - reply

Hi Stacy,
You were with this boy since you were 16. By the time you’re 21 you will have found that your needs will have changed. Your goals may be different and what you need from a partner will certainly NOT be the same as when you were 16.

In other words, you’ll grow up and find that you’re over the boy you fancied when you were a teenager. By the same token, that boy will realise he’s over you. For you, life is kind and this 'falling out' is happening earlier. Sadly, the boy in question is not a decent one. He’s messing you around instead of breaking it off.

I know that at 19 it feels as though you know all that you will ever know. (I was once 19) But trust me, life throws you so many curves that you soon realise there’s a lot more to life than teenage adventures.

It’s so obvious this guy does not love you (any more). Do you want to spend another 2 years being trampled on, or do you want to raise your head above the dirt and prove to yourself that you’ve got worth! You can and will do it! This whole situation will make you stronger. I think you (and your mum) already know what you have to do. 

Please share 'relationship help forum: cheating boyfriend' with someone you think needs it today. Thank you.

2 comments:

Jeremy Norton August 14, 2013 at 7:11 AM  

Hi Anne,

As a 19-year old teenager, sometimes it is really hard to let go of the things because all the while you thought everything will be perfect till the end. I hope Stacy will realize that her boyfriend isn't worth her time and attention anymore.

Anne Lyken-Garner August 14, 2013 at 3:10 PM  

Thanks for your comment, Jeremy. It's nice to get a man's perspective on this. As you said, 19 is a difficult time to realise these important fundamentals about relationships. I hope she would listen to her mother and let him go.

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Anne Lyken-Garner is a published author, editor and freelance writer. Her specialities include relationships and confidence building. You can find her inspirational memoir here.
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