#1 – Learning to Accept the Situation
One of the first steps that you must take in order for your relationship to work across the distance is to accept the situation – your partner may be away for a long period of time and no amount of sulking will change this fact.
By accepting the situation and coming to terms with the way that your relationship has changed and the way that it now works, you will take away some of the strain that has been placed on your relationship. This will enable you to move past the problem and improve your perspective or diminish your pessimism.
#2 – Communication is CrucialFor your relationship to work well and to ensure that trust is always present, you must establish a stable routine in which you contact each other regularly; although the quality of your communication is also of the utmost importance.
When you speak with your other half it’s essential that you tell them not only about your day and what’s happening in your life, but of how it makes you feel and how their absence in your life makes you feel. Sharing emotions with your other half is the best way for you to strengthen your relationship without direct contact.
Bear in mind that your partner may also have something to say – don’t make the mistake of rushing in and talking over them. Ask your partner how their day is and what’s happening in their life right now. If something particularly bad or irritating has happened ask them how they feel about it, or what they’re going to do about it.
#3 – Support versus StrainOne of the biggest mistakes that you can make at this time is to continuously complain about the situation that you are facing. By all means, let your partner know that you are unhappy with the way things have turned out and that you can’t wait for them to come home but do not place unnecessary strain upon the relationship.
Reinforce your relationship and your position as their other half by supporting them; empathise with them and be there for them when they need you to be. Another way in which you can support your spouse is simply by having fun and being optimistic. Don’t talk about the long days away from each other, discuss plans for when they come home and what you’re going to do together.
Also you can watch films ‘together’ or play board games ‘together’ – it won’t be exactly the same as they aren’t there with you and there’s nothing that will replace that feeling, but it is possible to feel closer to one another by enjoying the same activities in your different locations.
#4 – Utilise the InternetThe internet is not only useful for software such as Skype, MSN and emailing your partner, but you can also research different methods of coping with your current relationship and how to improve your approach to the situation. The internet is a powerful tool and can be incredibly convenient if you use it in the right way.
There are many other ways in which you can learn to cope with the distance between you and your girlfriend/boyfriend/ but the best methods are to simply remain optimistic and look forward to the day that they return – if you can survive the distance your relationship can survive almost anything.
Author: Lynn Reid currently works with Lovestruck Hong Kong and spends a lot of her time away from home. When Lynn isn’t travelling she likes to share her experiences and help others cope with the difficulties that relationships can pose.