How To Know When You’re Getting Old

Many of us want to stave off getting old for as long as we possibly can. Even if we still look young on the outside, there are tell-tale signs the body insists on doing without our consent, when we get to that dreaded ‘certain age.’ If you answer b to most or all of the following, you are well on your way to getting old.

You experience flatulence:

(a) 1 – 6 times a day, but I manage to keep them well hidden and pretend it’s someone else.
(b) 7 - 14 times a day, they just pop out when I laugh, sneeze, or bend over.
(c) 15 – 20 times a day and I don’t care who’s around.


(a) I am not in any pain, the alcohol hasn’t worn off yet.
(b) I have a pain that moves around in different places on my body every day.
(c) I can predict the weather from my pains.


(a) I have 20/20 vision, but I don’t read much.
(b) I’d have 20/20 vision if I squint hard enough.
(c) Visions? When? Who had them? Stay away from the light! They only want you dead so they can spend your cash.

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Anne Lyken-Garner is a published author, editor and freelance writer. Her specialities include relationships and confidence building. You can find her inspirational memoir here.
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