Giving birth; 6 things they keep hidden
You may not be able to sit down for two weeks after giving birth
Many women have to be given stitches after the birth. How many, depends of course on your individual circumstances. Pushing out the baby hurts, but you know that you get to hold something soft and cuddly at the end of it. Besides, you don't mind experiencing pain to bring someone you already love into the world. Stitches, on the other hand can sometimes be more painful than the birth. If you have a bitter, seared midwife, she may even administer them without anaesthetic. Ouch! If her tailoring skills aren't up to par you may even be left with a 'supermarket's own brand' rather than a 'Gucci' seam.
It hurts to urinate after giving birth
Boy, does it! It hurts (as my daughter says) really much. Have you ever got lemon juice in a fresh cut by accident? Have you eaten curry after coming home from the dentist? I suggest you do these things as a trial run for the real deal.
A wad of toilet paper held strategically in place when you visit the toilet should help, by-the-way.
Number twos during the birth
Many women have a bowel movement while giving birth. Don't worry, they won't ask you to clean it up. Happily, being so drugged up you may not even know you've done it. Make sure you're not eating lots of peas and beans close to your due date. You don't want to scare the poor baby too much, do you? Although, if your mid-wife is going to stitch you up minus aesthetic...
You may not want to hold your baby after giving birth
Don't feel too bad if you don't want to hold your baby straight away after the birth. It happens to many new mothers. In the height of stress, mixed with the feeling of exhilaration, drown out by a cocktail of potent drugs, student doctors in awe, emergency surgery, etc. it's little wonder women aren't more messed up after childbirth.
Steer clear of trainee tailors after giving birth
Not all doctors are experienced in doing proper stitching. You have to live with the botched repairs - whether they result from a Caesarean section or an episiotomy. Make sure your husband knows that if you have to be stitched, you want a straight cut, under your bikini line (for Caesarean), with no bumps or lumps, done by someone who's experienced. It's important for your self-esteem in years to come.
You may get nasty while/during giving birth
Even if you're usually the most pleasant girl on your street. The good thing about it is that you never remember any of it. My husband still teases me (nine years later) about being rude to a junior doctor, even though I can't believe I was. Thankfully I can't remember saying those things to him. I tell my husband he was probably hallucinating, but I'm sure it was me doing so.
The best thing about all of this is that you've brought your beautiful little one into the world. Never mind the negatives. After all, we seem to be programmed to forget them all. If we didn't, we would all have only one child.
Read some more facts about childbirth and the things no one told you about. You may be interested in other relationship with baby articles on this blog.