Why He's No Good For You

You know the kind of guy. And you know why he's no good for you. Yet, you hang around and hope for the best. You kind of like him, but you’re unsure whether he sees you as just a friend or is secretly hoping to get love-busy with you. Here we'll show you why he's no good for you. You’re sort of at the point in life where you’ll settle for less than you would have ten years ago. But is he your compromise-prize  guy, or do those neon warning signs buzzing at the back of your brain know something you’re not letting yourself see. 

Why he's no good for you

He has a joint mortgage with his mum

If he has a joint mortgage with his mum, he obviously still lives with her and has no future plans to ever have a home and a family of his own. He may be willing to date you but chances are, his mum will do everything in her power to steer him clear of any lasting relationship. You’re fighting a battle with an already predestined outcome – you lose!

He’s ‘friends’ with his all his exes

Men who don’t want to move on usually keep hold of past relationships to ‘show’ the world that they once ‘had it.’ It’s the equivalent of the overweight, ex-sportsman displaying his medals in a prominent place on his mantelpiece. It’s a reminder (and validation) of something he knows he’ll never be able to achieve again. It’s not unusual for this kind of man to ‘collect’ all his past girlfriends on Face Book so that he could cyber stalk and live vicariously through them. This is all he needs and he’s content with the ‘what-could’ve-beens.’  (Now press the ‘Uh-uh,’ you lose button).

He goes on holiday with his ‘family’

Believe me, there is nothing wrong with going on holiday with your mother, brothers and sisters when you’re thirty-five. The question of sleeping arrangements toggles (yes, ‘toggle,’ this is the age of the internet and all that) the mind for an instant.  But hey, close-knit,  grown-up families are beautiful to behold.  Does he do this exclusively though? Does he ever go on holiday on his own or with his friends? If not, why not? Maybe he makes no effort to bond with friends or to have a life of his own. This is indicative of a guy who has no intention of having a long term relationship with you. Time to walk on by, babe. Watch out for the Uh-uh button on your way out.

He’s the only one with a car

He drives his brother and sister to their clubs, outings etc. His father may not be around and his mother does not drive. Need I say more? When will he have time to go out with you?

He talks about how eligible he is

He’s always going on about the girls who want him or fancy him. In his mind he’s the most eligible bachelor around. No one else has got his qualities and all the girls see him as a potential husband. Wrong! A man like this does not see his own shortcomings and has spent years convincing himself that the reason he’s not dating or in a relationship is because he’s chosen not to be. Yeah, right!

He has lots of animals

How is he going to dedicate time to you if he has all those mouths to feed? He not only has a dog (which he got years ago when he was ‘looking’), but he owns a cat, two rabbits, a few gold-fish, and a pair of Russian hamsters. Holidays are out of the question and he obviously sees no place in his life for a wife and kids. He’s already filled his home and his life with his first loves. In this case you’ve lost even before the game starts. The only thing he sees himself as is 'Daddy' to his animal beauties. This is why he's no good for you or anyone else.

He’s lost all interest in looking good

He may not be too bad-looking, but he obviously spends next to no time on himself. He’s gained a lot of weight recently, his hair is long and greasy, and you’re almost certain you can detect a stale pizza whiff coming from his direction.  He meets people all right, but never seems to make the connection between male-female dating and attraction. Every new woman he meets is a potential My Space or Face Book friend - another follower on Twitter, rather than someone he can date.  This boy’s dating ship has already packed up and set sail.
He has no interest in a relationship and even if you hooked up, you’ll eventually end up as one of the social networking contacts he used to know.

Well, now you know the guys you shouldn’t be into, and why they're no good for you. Don’t fall into the category of women who romantically hold on to guys for years and years thinking that someday he’ll come around and see you for who you are. The types of guys mentioned above already do – you’re a friend and no more. He’ll never propose. Your friend is all he ever will be.

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Icy BC January 29, 2013 at 7:47 PM  

I can tell you this: he won't be someone that I would love to even getting to know! Yikes..

Harleena Singh January 30, 2013 at 6:10 AM  

That was so true Anne!

We find such kind of guys all around, though I am lucky to have got married year back and found my soul-mate in my partner. :)

One could even add the fact that he might not really be in love with you - isn't it? And that makes it all the more reason to know he's not the right person for you.

Thanks for sharing. :)

Anne Lyken-Garner January 30, 2013 at 10:55 AM  

I know what you mean, Icy. However, you won't be surprised to hear that a lot of women go for men like these, hoping against hope that they'll change eventually....

Anne Lyken-Garner January 30, 2013 at 10:56 AM  

Hi Harleena. I'm also blessed to have found my soul mate in my husband. He doesn't have any of these qualities, but I know a few men who do - some of them have ALL these qualities, yet women are hoping to catch their eye.

ChopperPapa January 31, 2013 at 1:34 AM  

"He’s lost all interest in looking good" -- that one pretty much says it all.

Anne Lyken-Garner January 31, 2013 at 9:14 AM  

HI CP, if he's lost interest in himself, what chance has a girl got, right?

Unknown February 7, 2013 at 2:59 AM  

Your examples were pretty scary but it is amazing the kinds of guys we have gotten involved with!!

Self Sagacity February 10, 2013 at 8:59 AM  

Gees, he sounds like a total loser. lol. Nice job of listing mr. wrong anne.

Anne Lyken-Garner is a published author, editor and freelance writer. Her specialities include relationships and confidence building. You can find her inspirational memoir here.
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